


Sneezes.

by Fearless_Straightfire



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Humor, I hate Delphine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 22:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11975889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearless_Straightfire/pseuds/Fearless_Straightfire
Summary: During the events of Season Unending, Artemis (our beloved Dragonborn) suffers a sneezing attack. Hilarity ensues.





	Sneezes.

Listening to Ulfric and Tullius squabbling caused the great Dragonborn to sigh, she regretted following Balgruuf's orders and leaned her head against her gloved palms.

'Arngeir was right.' Artemis thought bitterly, she tried to focus, but an itching sensation caused her to twitch.

"Dragonborn, are you alright?" Legate Rikke asked softly as she tried to place a comforting hand on Artemis' small shoulder.

"I am well Legate, it's just an irritating nose itch."

"Nose itch?"

Artemis nodded while rubbing her nose. No matter how hard she rubbed, the itching only intensified, and now to make matters worse she could feel her breathing hitch.

'Oh for the love of Mara, I better not sneeze.' Artemis thought as she jerked away from Rikke's touch, stood up and ran from the table. She ignored the cries of outrage and confusion, and headed towards the doors that lead out to High Hrothgar's courtyard.

"Dovahkiin!"

Artemis stopped immediately when she heard Arngeir's voice ring out across the ancient building. She gulped slightly and turned to face her master.

"Yes Master?"

"What is causing you to behave in such a manner?" Arngeir asked softly.

"Master, I-I need to sneeze." she confessed as her cheeks went bright pink from embarrassment.

"Well why make such a fuss?"

"I... Need to tell the truth."

Seeing the look of confusion on the man's face caused Artemis to grumble.

"You do not need to behave like a child."

Ignoring Arngeir's barbed comment, Artemis said "Every time I sneeze, I shout. Whether it's Yol or Fus, it-it's making me insane."

Arngeir nodded. "Well then just do it."

"Huh?"

"Sneezing is a natural reaction, if you try to suppress it, you'll only build a lot of pressure. And that pressure creates a large force on whatever shout you 'choose'."

By the time Arngeir finished his lecture, Artemis' nose was driving her insane, and the others were looking at her.

'Great, I have an audience.'

"Dragonborn, you need to-'

"Ahhh! FUS ROH DAH!"

Delphine, who happened to be speaking to Artemis, felt the overwhelming impact of the Unrelenting Force. It sent her flying backwards into a group of vases, which shattered on impact.

Everyone turned to stare at Artemis who had a nervous smile on her face.

"Oops, sorry!"


End file.
